Post by zeropointzero on Nov 4, 2010 20:47:14 GMT -5
Rather than spend lots of time blabbing about this offseason, I figure there is no more potent form of communication than song. So without further ado, here is the soundtrack to the offseason in the Eastern Conference:
Boston Celtics:
A "big fish in a small pond" the Boston Celtics continue to engineer rosters that put the rest of the East to shame. "It's the unseen pulling strings with my pinky rings", in this case it was the strings pulled prior to the draft where Poetic was able to spin an overpaid big man into a lottery pick, as well as extorting a former lottery pick to move a spot down. "So recognize these real G's take the cheese". In this case it was Dwayne Wade, the only of the heralded class of 2003 to cash in on the extra 7th year. Hard to see anything different than more wins for the C's.
Miami Heat:
"Guess who's bizack, still smellin crack in my clothes, don't make me have to relapse on these hoes" While the Celtics command most of the TMBSL headlines, lets not forget the Heat were the ones representing the Eastern Conference in the Finals last year. Swapping Raef LaFrentz for proven TMBSL winner Chris Webber could provide the lil bit extra needed to break through to championship level. If Rajon Rondo steps up for this team, they could challenge for best team in the East.
New Jersey Nets:
"Here we go again, same ol shit dawg just a different day". Another hefty contract on the books for Irush, this time for Carlos Boozer. "What you did was stupid, real fuckin stupid" I am not a fan of paying that type of money for Boozer, a player who has only averaged double digit points in his career thus far in TMBSL. The Nets are in that no-man's land of being good enough to win a few games, not quite lousy enough to contend for a lottery spot. But considering he doesn't have his own pick, for this year at least that isn't an issue.
New York Knicks:
"I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough, so i'm like FUCK YOU, and FUCK HER TOO" The Knicks were baffled my LeBron James's decision to take less money to go to a small market, and an exponentially worse franchise. Also the team's designated semen receptacle Gloria James will now be taking her talents to the Twin Cities. "I pity the fool that falls in love with you". Despite all the great grades, LeBron still came up short in the postseason, regularly underperforming despite some exceptional regular seasons. The Knicks will now plug Rudy Gay into the starting spot and focus on building for the future by clearing cap next offseason.
Orlando Magic
"Take the average black man and ask him that, she gotta pack much back" The prime ASSet of the Orlando Magic is their tremendous backcourt, featuring Deron Williams and Gilbert Arenas. "Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it, and i'd rather stay and play" Whereas the Celtics were most likely going to discard big man Kendrick Perkins after Perkins requested major money to re-up, the Orlando Magic were eager to ink him long term in exchange for a 1st rounder. Hopefully for Orlando this won't be Kwame Brown Part 2.
Philadelphia 76ers
"Bank account got me feelin well, Fargo" Supa has to feel better about his financial situation with only 1 large contract on the books past this next season. Perennial underachiever Tony Parker will be on the first train out of town after this season presumably, and he also sheds Zach Randolph's large deal. "Go on and roll that weed nigga cuz i'm stressed out" While Mike Beasley could prove to be an excellent player in this league, dumping Ty Thomas to move 1 pick up could prove to be costly long term for the Sixers.
Washington Wizards
"I go hard in the motherfuckin paint nigga, leave you stankin nigga what the fuck you thankin nigga" With the addition of Chris Bosh in free agency, there isn't a more fearsome tandem in the paint for years to come than Chris Bosh and Greg Oden. "In the trap with some killers and some hood niggas" Not only does this team feature those twin towers, they also feature some killers and hood niggas like Ron Artest and Brian Cardinal
