Post by clown on Sept 28, 2010 5:07:48 GMT -5
Atlantic Division
7. Washington Wizards
Jesus Christ. The only thing more empty in Washington then the promises of politicians this year may be the win column for the Wizards. They will challenge for the worst record ever.
What I like: Erick Barkley.
What I hate: The last time a Barkley was alone with this much trash, Sir Charles was pulled over while getting a blowjob from some whore.
6. New Jersey Nets
Using his Irish luck, the Nets GM was able to once again sneak into the lottery after a subpar season. They will miss the playoffs this year, but a solid future is ahead.
What I like: Yao Ming and Ronny Turiaf (draft steal) are an excellent frontcourt to build around and Randy Foye looks solid.
What I hate: Lousy trade for Eddie House, and Vassilis Spanoulis has busted like a 23 in Blackjack.
5. Orlando Magic
Those driving on I4 through Orlando may have noticed the stench emanating from the O-Rena last season, but it worked as they landed the #1 pick and star PG Deron Williams. Paired with surprise signee Gilbert Arenas, they will have the best backcourt in the league sooner than later
What I like: Arenas must like Disney World, or Orlando offered some premium weapons caches. His signing came out of nowhere.
What I hate: Orlando's Centers sound like villains in the next James Bond movie, and Kwame Brown was overpaid. They won't contend until they get a frontcourt that can score. Or rebound. Or defend.
4. Philadelphia 76ers
Antonio McDyess, Grant Hill, and Jason Kidd are laughing all the way to the bank. They won't be laughing when their checks bounce because their front office has no money.
What I like: They are an extremely talented team, who could make noise if they gel properly. McDyess/Hill/Kidd is as good a big 3 as any
What I hate: Their contracts are terrible, and untradeable if the 3 stars don't sync. Their GM might find himself jobless at the end of the year.
3. Miami Heat
They have made some nice moves to build around future megastar C Dwight Howard, but they may not be enough to overcome the elite of the Eastern Conference.
What I like: Raef LaFrentz was retained and is an excellent complement to Howard. They also made sure star SF Paul Pierce went nowhere. Ray Allen was a nice signing, but....
What I hate: ...Ray Allen was a nice signing at SG. The Heat will have to decide whether to play him out of position and start Bryan Bracey, start Paccelis Morlende at PG (no, seriously) or make a move for a new PG.
2. New York Knicks
Last years Knicks had all the potential in the world, but were only allowed to play with one basketball at a time and struggled. A different approach will lead to better results this year
What I like: They have surrounded stars Lebron James and Chris Webber with role players, not other stars. An emphasis on defense was placed, both with the starters and the bench.
What I hate: Not much. Solid team top to bottom. If Ruben Patterson can take pressure off of James and C-Webb they could win a title.
1. Boston Celtics
The class of the league, they are built for now and later. They traded Michael Redd but filled his role capably as the younger players continue to get better.
What I like: Mark Jackson was a steal at 2 years, 10 million, Ime Udoka is one of the most underrated players in the league, and, oh yeah, fucking Shawn Marion and Dwayne Wade. They are also in fantastic cap shape, so they could add a player or two if needed.
What I hate: They could use some more scoring off of the bench. If a few starters were to die in a freak gasoline fight accident, they might only average 115 a game.
Central Division
8. Indiana Pacers
New GM, likely same result. The Pacers have enough young, attractive pieces to make Roman Polanski uncomfortable but they aren't fitting together just yet.
What I like: Melo, Okafor, Diogu are a nice core to build around. They also avoided signing Tony Parker to a disastrous contract.
What I hate: It's been 5 years and they don't have a PG. Some places that PG are found: The Draft, Free Agency, Trades, Not Indiana.
7. Detroit Pistons
They kept franchise building block Tim Duncan this offseason with a 7 year deal. Maybe by year 7 they can get him some help and make the playoffs.
What I like: First round pick Kelenna Azubuike was a steal at 13, and they didn't overpay anyone outside of Duncan. PG Ronald Curry was a very nice signing.
What I hate: Who is the second option on this team? The rookies Bukkakke and Curry or vets Brendan Haywood and Juwan Howard?
6. Cleveland Cavaliers
They held on to stars Elton Brand and Stephon Marbury, but had no flexibility afterwards to get them assistance. The team is rumored to be switching to $5 Starbury shoes to cover some of their losses.
What I like: Rookie Rashad McCants may develop into that 3rd option they need. They will have breathing room at the end of the year after buying out Glenn Robinson.
What I hate: This is a two man team who will lose when one of Brand or Marbury is off. They need help, but it probably isn't coming this year.
5. Chicago Bulls
They finally got their superstar SG when they acquired Michael Redd from the Celtics. He should thrive in the number 1 role for 60 days before their GM gets bored and trades him
What I like: Solid young frontcourt rotation with Biedrins, Nene, Horford, and Hunter. Caron Butler is an overachiever at Sf.
What I hate: May have inconsistent scoring outside of Redd, and half the team will probably be traded before they can gel.
4. Milwaukee Bucks
GM Trofie has his team on the cusp of the playoffs for the first time in Bucks' TMBSL history. They were able to hold on to Steve Nash and Tim Thomas while adding Allen Iverson, but they let star C Shaquille O'Neal get away.
What I like: They took a chance on foreign big Darko Milicic and were rewarded handsomely. A future star, he will contribute immediately.
What I hate: Steve Nash needs the ball in his hands to be effective. Allen Iverson needs the ball in his hands to be effective. There is only one ball, despite pleas from the 2004-05 New York Knicks.
3. Atlanta Hawks
Entered the offseason with no real plan but may have pulled a playoff team out of his ass. Even if they miss, this team is built for the future.
What I like: The Camby and Peja signings were solid after sitting out early free agency. Lot of talent at G with Jay Williams, Manu Ginobili, and Nate Robinson
What I hate: They let a better SF in Antawn Jamison get away when they declined an excellent contract. Even if he wasn't in the long term plans, he was a very moveable asset.
2. Toronto Raptors
This team goes as Kobe goes, which means they are going far. They improved their roster from the year before but it may not be enough for another banner.
What I like: Jamison contract is excellent, and he should be a solid two for Bryant. Chandler is a nice C as well.
What I hate: Brian Cardinal was overpaid and given the starting PF job. He may be the Achilles' Heel. They also won't defend PGs well.
1. Charlotte Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets
The defending Eastern Conference Champs find themselves in good position to repeat after a solid offseason, mostly spent locking up their core.
What I like: Kenyon Martin was a nice signing, and will take over the PF spot as Rasheed Wallace moves to C. Fred Jones had a great offseason and is ready for a bigger role.
What I hate: Their normally shrewd GM was left without a backup plan after the departure of PG Brevin Knight, and the remaining PGs on the roster are no Bama fans when it comes to handling balls. PG could be the difference between Central Division winners and TMBSL Champs.
Playoffs:
1 Celtics Over 8 76ers
5 Raptors Over 4 Heat
3 Knicks Over 6 Hawks
2 Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets Over 7 Bucks
1 Celtics Over 5 Raptors
2 Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets Over 3 Knicks
1 Celtics Over 2 Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets
All-Conference
C Yao Ming - Rasheed Wallace - Dwight Howard
PF Chris Webber - Tim Duncan - Raef LaFrentz
SF Shawn Marion - Grant Hill - LeBron James
SG Kobe Bryant - Gilbert Arenas - Michael Redd
PG Dwayne Wade - Steve Nash - Jason Kidd
7. Washington Wizards
Jesus Christ. The only thing more empty in Washington then the promises of politicians this year may be the win column for the Wizards. They will challenge for the worst record ever.
What I like: Erick Barkley.
What I hate: The last time a Barkley was alone with this much trash, Sir Charles was pulled over while getting a blowjob from some whore.
6. New Jersey Nets
Using his Irish luck, the Nets GM was able to once again sneak into the lottery after a subpar season. They will miss the playoffs this year, but a solid future is ahead.
What I like: Yao Ming and Ronny Turiaf (draft steal) are an excellent frontcourt to build around and Randy Foye looks solid.
What I hate: Lousy trade for Eddie House, and Vassilis Spanoulis has busted like a 23 in Blackjack.
5. Orlando Magic
Those driving on I4 through Orlando may have noticed the stench emanating from the O-Rena last season, but it worked as they landed the #1 pick and star PG Deron Williams. Paired with surprise signee Gilbert Arenas, they will have the best backcourt in the league sooner than later
What I like: Arenas must like Disney World, or Orlando offered some premium weapons caches. His signing came out of nowhere.
What I hate: Orlando's Centers sound like villains in the next James Bond movie, and Kwame Brown was overpaid. They won't contend until they get a frontcourt that can score. Or rebound. Or defend.
4. Philadelphia 76ers
Antonio McDyess, Grant Hill, and Jason Kidd are laughing all the way to the bank. They won't be laughing when their checks bounce because their front office has no money.
What I like: They are an extremely talented team, who could make noise if they gel properly. McDyess/Hill/Kidd is as good a big 3 as any
What I hate: Their contracts are terrible, and untradeable if the 3 stars don't sync. Their GM might find himself jobless at the end of the year.
3. Miami Heat
They have made some nice moves to build around future megastar C Dwight Howard, but they may not be enough to overcome the elite of the Eastern Conference.
What I like: Raef LaFrentz was retained and is an excellent complement to Howard. They also made sure star SF Paul Pierce went nowhere. Ray Allen was a nice signing, but....
What I hate: ...Ray Allen was a nice signing at SG. The Heat will have to decide whether to play him out of position and start Bryan Bracey, start Paccelis Morlende at PG (no, seriously) or make a move for a new PG.
2. New York Knicks
Last years Knicks had all the potential in the world, but were only allowed to play with one basketball at a time and struggled. A different approach will lead to better results this year
What I like: They have surrounded stars Lebron James and Chris Webber with role players, not other stars. An emphasis on defense was placed, both with the starters and the bench.
What I hate: Not much. Solid team top to bottom. If Ruben Patterson can take pressure off of James and C-Webb they could win a title.
1. Boston Celtics
The class of the league, they are built for now and later. They traded Michael Redd but filled his role capably as the younger players continue to get better.
What I like: Mark Jackson was a steal at 2 years, 10 million, Ime Udoka is one of the most underrated players in the league, and, oh yeah, fucking Shawn Marion and Dwayne Wade. They are also in fantastic cap shape, so they could add a player or two if needed.
What I hate: They could use some more scoring off of the bench. If a few starters were to die in a freak gasoline fight accident, they might only average 115 a game.
Central Division
8. Indiana Pacers
New GM, likely same result. The Pacers have enough young, attractive pieces to make Roman Polanski uncomfortable but they aren't fitting together just yet.
What I like: Melo, Okafor, Diogu are a nice core to build around. They also avoided signing Tony Parker to a disastrous contract.
What I hate: It's been 5 years and they don't have a PG. Some places that PG are found: The Draft, Free Agency, Trades, Not Indiana.
7. Detroit Pistons
They kept franchise building block Tim Duncan this offseason with a 7 year deal. Maybe by year 7 they can get him some help and make the playoffs.
What I like: First round pick Kelenna Azubuike was a steal at 13, and they didn't overpay anyone outside of Duncan. PG Ronald Curry was a very nice signing.
What I hate: Who is the second option on this team? The rookies Bukkakke and Curry or vets Brendan Haywood and Juwan Howard?
6. Cleveland Cavaliers
They held on to stars Elton Brand and Stephon Marbury, but had no flexibility afterwards to get them assistance. The team is rumored to be switching to $5 Starbury shoes to cover some of their losses.
What I like: Rookie Rashad McCants may develop into that 3rd option they need. They will have breathing room at the end of the year after buying out Glenn Robinson.
What I hate: This is a two man team who will lose when one of Brand or Marbury is off. They need help, but it probably isn't coming this year.
5. Chicago Bulls
They finally got their superstar SG when they acquired Michael Redd from the Celtics. He should thrive in the number 1 role for 60 days before their GM gets bored and trades him
What I like: Solid young frontcourt rotation with Biedrins, Nene, Horford, and Hunter. Caron Butler is an overachiever at Sf.
What I hate: May have inconsistent scoring outside of Redd, and half the team will probably be traded before they can gel.
4. Milwaukee Bucks
GM Trofie has his team on the cusp of the playoffs for the first time in Bucks' TMBSL history. They were able to hold on to Steve Nash and Tim Thomas while adding Allen Iverson, but they let star C Shaquille O'Neal get away.
What I like: They took a chance on foreign big Darko Milicic and were rewarded handsomely. A future star, he will contribute immediately.
What I hate: Steve Nash needs the ball in his hands to be effective. Allen Iverson needs the ball in his hands to be effective. There is only one ball, despite pleas from the 2004-05 New York Knicks.
3. Atlanta Hawks
Entered the offseason with no real plan but may have pulled a playoff team out of his ass. Even if they miss, this team is built for the future.
What I like: The Camby and Peja signings were solid after sitting out early free agency. Lot of talent at G with Jay Williams, Manu Ginobili, and Nate Robinson
What I hate: They let a better SF in Antawn Jamison get away when they declined an excellent contract. Even if he wasn't in the long term plans, he was a very moveable asset.
2. Toronto Raptors
This team goes as Kobe goes, which means they are going far. They improved their roster from the year before but it may not be enough for another banner.
What I like: Jamison contract is excellent, and he should be a solid two for Bryant. Chandler is a nice C as well.
What I hate: Brian Cardinal was overpaid and given the starting PF job. He may be the Achilles' Heel. They also won't defend PGs well.
1. Charlotte Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets
The defending Eastern Conference Champs find themselves in good position to repeat after a solid offseason, mostly spent locking up their core.
What I like: Kenyon Martin was a nice signing, and will take over the PF spot as Rasheed Wallace moves to C. Fred Jones had a great offseason and is ready for a bigger role.
What I hate: Their normally shrewd GM was left without a backup plan after the departure of PG Brevin Knight, and the remaining PGs on the roster are no Bama fans when it comes to handling balls. PG could be the difference between Central Division winners and TMBSL Champs.
Playoffs:
1 Celtics Over 8 76ers
5 Raptors Over 4 Heat
3 Knicks Over 6 Hawks
2 Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets Over 7 Bucks
1 Celtics Over 5 Raptors
2 Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets Over 3 Knicks
1 Celtics Over 2 Eastern Conference Powerhouse Hornets
All-Conference
C Yao Ming - Rasheed Wallace - Dwight Howard
PF Chris Webber - Tim Duncan - Raef LaFrentz
SF Shawn Marion - Grant Hill - LeBron James
SG Kobe Bryant - Gilbert Arenas - Michael Redd
PG Dwayne Wade - Steve Nash - Jason Kidd
